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1. Quick Pick |
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I was now back in Oz after the Ironman New Zealand 06 disaster, where bad weather got rid of the swim, halved the bike and halved the run. (I decided not to do this silly race as crossing the finish line and getting an “Ironman” medal would have been too hollow to swallow.) I had to pick and I had to pick quick as I wanted my next Ironman attempt to be soon so as not to train in the cold Adelaide winter due in a few months. The shortlist was Brazil or the Canary Islands. On reading that the Brazil race could start in cold weather before warming up during the day, it was an easy decision to make. There was no way I was going to risk being cold again after the freezing conditions encountered in New Zealand. So, it was off to the Canary Islands to find a canary. But where were they? |
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2. Which Way? |
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If you drilled a straight shaft from your living room in Adelaide, down through to the centre of the Earth and out the other end, you would virtually end up at the Canary Islands which are part of Spain. This diametricity meant the Sydney-Madrid leg had 4 routing options where the total trip time from Adelaide to the Canary Islands would be 34-40 hours. After entering the race, I decided I would visit Greece and Ibiza, maybe stopover somewhere, and be gone 3 weeks max so I wouldn’t miss Giorgia too much.
Via Bangkok, Jo ’burg, LA or Santiago Brain lock, iceberg, today, Amigo
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After spending one solid week planning this trip, where no training was done, it all became too hard and I pulled out of this race. Customs, immigration, connections, 13 hour flights, around the world fare restrictions, excess baggage charges, hotels, ground transport, layovers. Forget it! I was free again.
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3. Yoyo |
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What! Sara was happy for me to pull out of this race! Well, I’ll show her! Nobody gets to tell me it’s ok to not do this race!!!
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4. Mountainous Goatus |
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I had two months to train for the windiest, hillyest, hottest, hardest Ironman in the known universe. The bike course was the equivalent (in terms of both distance and climbing metres), of riding from Glenelg to Mt Lofty and back, guess how many times? Once? No. Twice? No. Three times a lady? No. The answer was 3.5 times. This was the scary picture on the race website that ensured I did enough hill climbing to earn the title of Mountainous Goatus. One drill by Kerran had me going up molehill Waterfall Gully Rd four times in my hardest gear – ie the gear you would normally use to scream down a steep hill. There was one section where I would slow down so much that I was at risk of bitumen connection. The race manual recommended a humongous 25 or 27 tooth back cog. (Steep hills need a lot of teeth on the back cog.) My bike only went up to a 23. I decided to stay with the 23, train in the Adelaide hills using a 21 and have the 23 as an emergency gear come race day. I would become a stronger cyclist but the trade was that running pace could be somewhat reduced as legs would be more fatigued. I reasoned that I would save more minutes on the bike, than I would lose on the run. But, this plan would work only if I really could climb all the steepest hills in training using a 21. I was off. Norton Summit? Check. Mt Lofty? Check. Corkscrew-Tregarthen Rd-Checkers on the same ride? Check. Well this was a bit too easy. |
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Here is a same scale comparison of the Lanzarote and New Zealand bike course elevations. Having seen a cyclist walk his bike up a hill in New Zealand, just how many cyclists would do the same in Lanzarote?
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During one hot long bike ride, I bought two Gatorades at a service station. The first one didn’t work. And the second one didn’t work either. No matter how much I tried, I could not get either bottle to work. Oh no! Do I just throw them away or ask for them to be fixed? I chose the latter and went back to the shopkeeper. “Um err yes um…the lids um the lids yes they’re on too tight. Can you maybe try and open these bottles for me?” I escaped with two working bottles and just two shopkeepers thinking strange thoughts. In a few weeks time however, a similar incident somewhere in Spain would cause many more people to think strange thoughts.
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5. Hit The Road, Jack |
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Thai: The Good: extra 5cm leg room. The Bad: no personal video screen.
If you paid me to go on this trip I would say no way, read my lip
But I went anyway. After almost 30 hours straight sooking, I was in Madrid. (The only non-sooky-la-la moment was when dinner was being served and the flight attendant said to me in mixed up English, “careful of the cold bread!”) I got a sandwich at the airport and tried to get it out of its plastic but couldn’t. I tried again and couldn’t. I mob of Madridians were watching. Again. Nup. Mega-mob. The sandwich was laughing its head off but I fixed it as I got my car key out and punctured this pest. Just a few more hours of sooking to go.
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With Ibiza put on hold (maybe next year) and the around the world ticket option ditched, this trip was simplified to a week in the Canary Islands and a week in Greece. I was so glad that my travel plans had evolved into a manageable 9 flights over 19 days with only 34 hours needed to get from Adelaide to the Canary Islands, a short 13 hour Bangkok to Madrid flight and overnight stays at only Athens and Melbourne airports! Was I mad?
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6. Lanzarote |
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Didn’t this isle, just suit my style? The tropical climate enveloped both the wide brown sandy beaches of the coastal towns and the spectacularly volcano punctured hinterland. Oh, and the wind. Yes, the wind… I stayed at a beachfront hotel in Puerto del Carmen, which was just metres away from the start/finish line! This would make race morning preparation a walk in the park.
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View from my hotel room
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Downtown Puerto del Carmen |
There wasn’t going to be any thousand dollar plus mobile phone bill on this trip. At AU$15/hour to ring Oz, I was a phonecard convert. |
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During lunch one day, I was offered camel kebab. A bit strange I thought, but considering that ‘roo stew was on offer in Oz, maybe not so strange. Before I could further enquire, Dromedary or Bactrian, I was informed that camel kebab wasn’t kosher by the amused keeper of the shop. |
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7. Foundation |
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My friends and I |
More friends and I
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Apart from a 9km (5.6mi) bike/ 4km (2.5mi) run brick and a few laps of the pool, the only training for race day in Lanzarote was mental. I had to get Brain on side and with the help of a sports psych this was the plan: just keep Brain distracted during the whole race so he doesn’t go off and end up in an abyss of negative thought. All aboard for Distraction City. |
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8. Welcome To Distraction City, Enjoy Your Stay |
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You know that bit about staying a few steps from the start line making race morning a walk in the park? Well it’s crap! Of around a thousand starters, I was probably the last one to get to the start line. My race started with a jog down the hotel corridor, followed by a sprint to swim control, followed by a two hundred metre world record attempt to the start line as I realised there were no fellow late competitors anywhere to be seen.
Swimmers, fish and a lane rope.
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But all this rushing was for nothing! I had to wait at least three minutes before the race started!!! The orange caps went first, followed by us yellow caps one minute later. Into the water with the usual suspects: can’t get enough air, water is too cold, too many people, what am I doing here, blah blah blah. I’ve heard it all before! Before long, I was into a comfortable rhythm doing my usual trick of swimming from buoy to buoy to ensure my swim path was as short as possible. |
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Half the course was marked by the longest pool lane rope, which made navigation a breeze. I was doing this with ease. So with the formalities out of the way, it was time for my inaugural visit to Distraction City. Just what would it be like in DC? First stop in this city was replaying in my head “For A Girl, In This World”, a video I made for Giorgia’s first birthday containing heaps of motion, colour and music. I reached the half way point in 38 minutes. With a swim PB on the cards today, DC was the place to be. Out of the water for a few metres, and then back in to start the second lap. The swell had picked up and I began to feel just the slightest bit queasy. But there was no time to dwell on this swell as I was with ditty in Distraction City. And, got myself a swim PB today! |
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SWIM LEG 3.8km (2.4mi) 1:18:36 62 seconds/50m 735th fastest of 964 starters top 76%
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Giorgia addresses the UN General Assembly
Giorgia and friends at Disneyland |
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9. It’s A Transient Thing |
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An emerging enemy in past Ironman races has been a wandering Brain. When he has all the time in the world, he will take me all over the world. But today would be different. Brain was to visit Distraction City for the whole day, so he wouldn’t pester me with analysing past events of the day, worrying about future events of the day, creating mountains out of molehills and telling me that the race was insane.
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A 9:31 transition which didn’t even include a toilet stop! Not happy Jan.
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10. Regiment By Segment |
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But I couldn’t stay unhappy for long as I was back in DC. The 180km (112mi) bike leg was broken up into 18 lots of 10km (6.2mi) segments. The first segment was assigned the A-song, the second segment the B-song and so on all the way to the 18th segment with the R-song. I blasted out of transition with a mini Mars Bar, a salt tablet and the A-song.
I like to be in America Okay by me in America Everything free in America For a small fee in America
My position as President of House, Asia-Pacific Chapter would be in serious jeopardy if word got out that I was entertaining such blatantly anti-house tunes. |
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I was ready to start overtaking cyclists: 10, 20, 30? Just how many would I reel in during the first hour? How about none! This was Lanzarote, and all previous experience need not apply. The fact that I always reel in heaps of cyclists coz I’m faster on the bike than in the water, was lost in the wind. The wind, yes the wind…The calibre of cyclists here was much better than in other races. But there was no capacity to despair coz I had the A-song looping in my head. I was in America and everything was okay by me!
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11. Earth, Wind & Fire |
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The road surface varied quickly from Hotmix Highway to the much more readily available Coarse Concourse. The latter would make things rattle on your bike that you didn’t know you had on your bike. Numerous cyclists were delayed by technical problems. If your bike was not in tiptop condition, Lanzarote would not hesitate in telling you which part wasn’t up to scratch. The weather in the morning was around 20C (68F) which was ideal and the wind was just everywhere except behind you! But I knew that this course would be really windy so this wasn’t a surprise at all. Anyway, I had other things to think about as I was transitioning to the C-song segment. Segment transitions involved saying sentences to myself containing a certain word: This is so easy. How easy is this? I cannot believe how easy this is. Whether it was true or not, it was going to be repeated during each segment transition. Maybe I could even get Brain to agree on occasions. |
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A lone spectator cheers on a cyclist in the 0-4 age group
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All the leaves are brown And the sky is grey I’ve been for a walk On a winter’s day I’d be safe and warm If I was in LA California dreamin’ On such a winter’s day
I was progressing surely but slowly through this course. All hills were being done reasonably easily on my 21 tooth back cog. I was feeling great. Most times there was no need to work out if you were being slowed by the wind or the hills or the road surface as it tended to be all three at once. |
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I don’t normally find out what food will be offered at the aid stations as I am happy to be surprised on the day. This was a mistake for this race coz I only found bananas and oranges! This lack of variety could have got me into big trouble but luckily I had Mars Bars, gels and Powerbars with me. Oh and a crowd of salt tablets which were being consumed at the rate of one per hour, not gonna lose any power! |
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I absolutely loved the once only circumnavigation of this island. Every millimetre was unchartered and changing territory. The scenery was spectacular, especially riding through the lava fields. Oh and a new category was added to the list of road surfaces. The extreme Coarse Concourse was beaten by Marble Motorway where this road had pebbles the size of marbles sticking out from an already rough road surface. This road would roll a tank! The best hill climb was done watching a herd of camels walking in a line, transporting tourists around a small volcano. How fantastic was this! Lanzarote was never boring and never dull with all these Dromedaries. I recognised one of the tourists. It was Lady Penelope.
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“Hello L Pen”, I said. “Good day James”, said Lady Penelope. “Your job application for the pilot of the new Thunderbird 6 has been unsuccessful on this occasion for your information. We can look after ourselves all right. Take or leave us, only please believe us. We ain't ever gonna be disrespectable.” “Err, um, oh well thanks for letting me know L Pen. Can I ask the reason?” “Certainly James. Your level of fitness was too low.” |
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12. Attack |
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Coz I knew that sometimes it would be tough going in DC, I had a contingency plan. If a looping song somehow looped its way off the radar, I would toggle to this song, to bring me back into the current tense:
So you do what is needed Meet ‘til the sorrow This is the way we stand Caught in the crossfire Burnt by it's anger This is the current stand
Once stabilised, it was an easy toggle back to the original song. This contingency plan was invoked a number of times, but would the super-contingency plan be needed? Around the half way mark, I stopped to do a wee on the side of the road, having concluded that the local custom allows this. Of course the wind saw to it that the target would be my bike! The longest climb of the day to the top of a 600m (1,968ft) tall better-be-extinct volcano had started. (Compare Mt Lofty at 727m (2,385ft)) Just how tough could this thing really be? With many distractions and a well tuned engine, this wasn’t too tough at all. The climb was just fantastic. The scenery, the villages, the countryside, the twists, the turns and finally the summit. The most amazing thing about this climb was that I saw no-one walking their bikes! Having seen walkers in both New Zealand and Japan , I thought this course would be loaded with them. But I was wrong. Again, this reinforced just how good the cyclists were here. |
Mars Bar munching
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Raffi Aghanian 49, a police officer from the UK just couldn’t pedal anymore up this hill. Raffi then walked his bike but didn’t finish the bike leg. |
While I was feeling great and still happily in DC with K-song and still happily popping salt tablets and munching Mars Bars, my average speed was really slow. But this would soon be fixed, with a huge downhill coming up. Zoomed down for a few hundred metres, then slammed on the brakes to go ‘round a hairpin turn, and again. This erratic journey continued until half way down when it was time to start a 200m (656ft) climb of an adjoining hill. So much for increasing average speed here! Now the climb to the top of this hill was tough going. There were fantastic coastline views but I couldn’t be distracted for 2 reasons: one was the L-song playing in DC and the other was that I was travelling at 6km/h (3.7mph), and I needed to maintain this pace, stop, or fall off like poor Raffi did.
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Rain on my sKin I feel a gentle summer wind In your eyes I can see the deep blue sky
Let it rain Let it colour all my skin Let it rain Wash away my doubts and pain
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The top of this hill saw two-thirds of the bike completed. 120km (75mi) in an average 21km/h (13mph)!!! How slow was this? Was it really time to start calculating whether I could reach transition before the bike cut-off time? The big compensation was that I felt fine. So downhill again when scary incident #2 occurred. It was the usual hairpin turn and I was just going too fast. I managed to negotiate this turn ok but I needed to be much more careful. Scary incident #1 occurred earlier in the day when a side wind gust made me wobble way too much for my liking. The hairpin turns disappeared and for the first time today I was cruising. It was downhill on a Hotmix Highway with a tail wind! This lasted for many kilometres until an inland turn presented the usual uphill on a Coarse Concourse with a head wind. From a maximum speed of 73km/h (45mph) not long ago, I was now down to 12km/h (7.5mph). Twas ok with me.
Race Guide. I think not!
I polished off my last Mars Bar which had melted. This was the hottest part of the day at around 26C (79F). The downhill to transition had started. I momentarily stopped to put back my dropped chain – don’t shift front and back gears at the same time! Just before I entered transition with R-song, an oblivious but obvious spectator crossed my path. I yelled out and we happily continued on our separate ways. I made the bike cut-off easily with almost two hours to spare. And I never needed to go past my 21 tooth back cog. I estimated 7.5 hours for the bike and I took just a little longer than this. I was very happy that I had increased my average speed during the last third of the bike.
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And I’ll Remember The strength that you gave me Now that I’m standing on my own I’ll remember The way that you saved me I’ll remember
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BIKE LEG 180km (112mi) 7:44:58 23.2 km/h (14.4mph) 727th fastest of 964 starters top 75%
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13. Get Gone |
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Off the bike after almost 8 hours and I was ready. Another long transition (6:41) but at least a toilet stop was included this time. I felt great and I couldn’t wait to mow each runner down one by one. Running off the bike was my strength. The plan in Distraction City was simple: 8 laps with 8 letters of the alphabet left so start with S-song and finish with Z-song.
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A volunteer in transition told me I had a good attitude going into the run, compared with some other competitors she had seen. I wanted to tell her all about DC and invite her for a visit but there was no time, I was in my prime. Gonna have so much fun in the sun on this run.
Started out, last night I was thinkin' of days gone by Of the times, I've had And the things that I've left behind Some change, some die Still we manage to survive It's knowin' when, and what to do It's up to you Don't know what's goin' on I can't wait 'til
One Summer, I'll find a way One summer, will always remain One summer, remember the way
It didn’t take long at all to find a comfortable rhythm. It was warm but I wished it was stinking hot so everybody else could drop like flies. A mostly flat 5.25km (3.26mi) stretch along the coast with 3 aid stations that you traversed 8 times together with a 0.2km (0.1mi) section at the start, made up the 42.2k (26.2mi) run course. I allowed myself to walk each aid station. In no time I had reached the turn-around point. I was aiming for around 34 minutes a lap to get a run time of 4.5 hours today. And the first lap? 31:00! And how many runners did I overtake? None! Yep. The competitors here were just as good on the run, as they were on the bike! Lap 2 in 34:11 and lap 3 in 35:16. Slowing a bit, but still on target. |
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I was on lap 4 and heading back to the start line which would complete half the run. I knew I was slowing down. I think the biggest factors coming into play now were, the energy spent pushing my bike through the wind and the Coarse Concourse, the monotony of the run course and and and, the very basic food on offer at the aid stations. With a selection of only oranges or bananas, tummy was getting mighty cross. The first aid station also had gels but I was carrying gels on me anyway as well as Powerbars. Lap 4 in 39:07, for a 21.2km (13.2mi) time of 2:20:41. |
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14. It’s Not So Bad |
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My 4.5 hour goal was no longer likely. The second half of the run was getting tough but it was still very doable. I stayed in DC and continued my salt tablet popping. The thought of more bananas, gels and Powerbars was sickening. I had been eating these things for 12 hours already. Wasn’t that enough? I really wanted something solid like chocolate or cake or chips or just anything! Lap 5 in 38:10. I started lap 6 where the aid station was now offering pastries. “No thanks”. I couldn’t believe I said this. Was I mad? This was just what I wanted and I said no! Here was my biggest need being handed to me on a silver platter and I said no! Brain argued with me that he thought this might be against the rules to accept such food. I told him that it was offered by an official at an official aid station and not to be so ridiculous. My walks through the aid stations had increased from a few metres to a few tens of metres. A colossal fight had developed between Brain and Tummy. How I wish those two would not always hang together. Tummy clearly had the upper hand now as he had Brain just about out of DC. Lap 6 in 44:34 included the last toilet pit stop. Could I possibly run any slower? |
One of the younger competitors
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My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain Clouds up my window And I can't see at all
And even if I could It'd all be grey But your picture on my wall
It reminds me That it'z not so bad It's not so bad
Nup! Lap 7 in 43:01. It had cooled down now, was getting dark and I boxed Brain on the head and said yes to the pastry this time. Tummy was happy, Brain was happy, and Oesophagus was no longer threatening to become two way. The charge to the finish line had begun. |
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Pace increased as I got closer to the finish line. I was tunnelling through the darkness to a distant light. The light had its tractor beam set on me and it was pulling me in. Faster and faster again. I was grinning from ear to ear. Nothing was hurting and nothing was an effort. I finished. The race director who personally congratulates all finishers said “Thank you for your smile.” I just completed the hardest Ironman on Earth. It’s not so bad!
RUN LEG 42.2km (26.2mi) 5:04:02 7:12 mins/km, 8.3km/h (11:36 mins/mi, 5.2mph) 709th fastest of 964 starters top 74%
OVERALL 14:23:46 position 728th of 964 starters top 76%
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15. Spectacular Spectacular |
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Ain-Alar Juhanson won in 8:54:11 |
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I was feeling just fine. On the way to the massage tent, I walked through the medical tent. There were rows of finishers on intravenous drips. This was the scary side of Ironman. I had a massage, discovered two moderate sunburnt patches, degunked myself and then had a feast at the finishers’ tent. And what did I do next? Another feast of course. Burger and fries! Yum.
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From the time I started the race to the time I finished the race, I pretty much had three quarters of the field in front of me and one quarter behind me. Ain-Alar and I both finished Ironman Lanzarote, but with a suitcase of a difference on the scales: He weighed 91kg (201lb) and I weighed 68kg (150lb).
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Lanzarote median time only 10 minutes higher than NZ.. Crawling ok on run leg in Lanzarote.. Canary reportedly sighted in Lan |
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While the Lanzarote course was much tougher than New Zealand, the casual observer comparing race median times would never uncover this information. I think the Lanzarote 06 gang of 964 competing on the NZ course would see a plummeting median race time, while the NZ 05 gang of 1166 competing on the Lanzarote course would see a skyrocketing median race time. |
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Here are some excerpts from an interview with Karin Thürig, the women’s winner in 9:52:43 at www.ironman.com
On the day that saw the most difficult conditions in the 15-year history of Ironman Lanzarote, Karin Thürig dominated the day by 25 minutes thanks to the 15th fastest bike split overall.
Lanzarote’s bike course is known as the most difficult in the Ironman series with very rough roads and more than 9000 feet (2600 meters) of climbing. On race day organizers around race director Kenneth Gasque measured record winds up to 45 mph, mostly blowing in the athletes faces.
“In the first 30 miles on the bike I had a queasy feeling; the wind was so strong and gusty. Often I wasn’t in aero position because I was scared a gust would blow me into another competitor while passing them.”
In time trial she divides the course mentally into little pieces, and only concentrates on where she is at the moment. “With that strategy I can avoid negative thoughts and self-pity, when my legs hurt. Some years ago, I often thought, oh my God, I still have the half distance ahead of me and then I slowed down automatically. Now I just concentrate on the moment,” she said. “In an Ironman I use that strategy only when I get in trouble. For example in the last 10 k of the marathon, then I focus only on the distance from one aid station to the other. And if that doesn’t help, I start counting back from 5000 in threes. Since your brain can only have one thought at a time I can’t think about my hurting legs anymore.”
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Wasn’t I in good company? Karin has her own DC, just like me! I’ll have to keep this in mind as I may visit Karin’s DC in a future race. I was glad that I had the key to Brain and not the other way around and that I didn’t need to summon the top secret super-contingency plan. |
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16. Save The Best For Last |
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The 15 salt tablets did their job well keeping hyponatremia and its horrible fatigue out of the equation. Two things I would do differently at my next Ironman: (1) Make a food plan. Decide what to eat, when to eat, what to carry on me, what to get from an aid station and what to put in my Special Feedbags to be picked up during the bike and run legs. I haven’t made use of Special Feedbags in the past, but that’s now in the past! No more winging it. (2) Don’t walk through each aid station on the run coz there could be lots of ‘em. I passed an aid station 24 times which was way too many times to be walking. That was a short walk every 1.8km (1.1mi)? Silly!
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There was a knock on the door. It was Giorgia. “Hi Koukla”, I said. “Uncle Jim finished. How did you go?” “I finished too Uncle Jim”, said Giorgia. “Now, if you don’t mind, can you maybe please stop wearing the same stuff that I do? Oh and also, no need to look for a canary anymore coz I finally found one and here he is. His name is Bird.” “Hello Bird”, I said. “Aren’t you awfully big for a canary?” |
In terms of both percentage and time, Lanzarote is last on my list. It was my slowest race, but it was my best race.
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17. Madrid Mayhem |
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